New Year, New Boundaries

It’s a new year and a wonderful time to assess healthy habits that benefit our mental wellbeing – including deciding on and setting healthy boundaries.

“You might hear the word ‘boundaries’ and imagine walls that separate you from other people. In a sense, that’s true. But boundaries aren’t necessarily a bad thing. In fact, they’re an important ingredient in healthy, balanced relationships. They’re also a crucial part of maintaining your identity, mental health, and physical well-being,” according to HelpGuide.com.

What Are Boundaries?

According to the experts at the University of Illinois Chicago, boundaries are, “An invisible line that defines what behaviors are acceptable for an individual.”

The first step to creating healthy boundaries is to assess what you want or need for your own mental wellness. “Setting boundaries means, first of all, knowing what one wants and expects from the people in their life, and what they’ll accept from them—and then clearly, concisely, and calmly stating those ground rules. For many, though, this is harder than it seems,” according to Psychology Today.

Mental health experts note that boundaries can be physical, emotional or based on time and needed space. The benefits to setting healthy boundaries including protecting yourself mentally, physically and emotionally; preventing conflict with those you care about; developing independence and self-worth; showing others how you want to be treated, and more.

Five Boundaries to Consider for Your Mental Wellness

Setting boundaries may be hard at first, but we often do it without even realizing it. Below are some boundary examples to help you navigate utilizing boundaries to prioritize your mental wellness.

Work/Life Balance

In today’s world of remote work and a seemingly 24/7 to-do list, it may be hard to find a work/life balance that allows you to perform at your best at both work and home. But, setting boundaries on how much time you work, where, and how much access your job has to you during your downtime can help you to navigate responsibilities at both work and your personal life.

Boundaries With Loved Ones

Whether romantic or platonic, most relationships have a lot of working pieces. Setting boundaries in both romantic relationships and with friends can help you to honor your own mental wellbeing and give those you care about a tangible guide on how best to interact with you and develop closeness. Examples of boundaries can be physical (do you want to hug, hold hands, etc.), timewise (how often you see each other), or communication (how often do you keep in touch), to name just a few.

Prioritizing Your Needs

While it may sound simple, prioritizing your own needs is a necessary step for deciding on and holding boundaries. “It often takes courage and strength to set boundaries, but when you do so, you can feel comfortable knowing your lines have been set. Your needs have been communicated. And if someone chooses to violate your boundaries after that, you would be within your rights to create further distance between yourself and that person,” according to an article on Psych Central.

Prioritizing your own needs can look different for everyone and can be based on your own preferences. Need help getting started? Experts suggest assessing what is important to you and going from there. For example, do you need alone time? Is it important to talk to loved ones a certain amount? Etc. Consider what you need then work from there.

Physical Boundaries

Knowing what works for you physically and communicating it to those in your sphere can help you and them to feel heard and safe. Examples of this can include everything from talking about what you’re comfortable doing with a romantic partner to waving at friends from a distance instead of a hug.

Boundaries Around Time and Material Objects

Other areas to consider boundaries are around time and material bandwidth. You know you best – are you an extrovert who loves to be around people and wants to fill your calendar, or an introvert who prefers to have space after you socialize? And, while it can be seen as taboo to talk about, it’s okay to honor your own material bandwidth and boundaries as well. For example, can you afford to do the weekly dinner with friends, or would you want to use that money for something else? Is it ok for friends to borrow something, and if so, what condition do they need to return it in? Questions like these can help you navigate boundaries with time and possessions.

One way many experts look at boundaries is like a sandbox on a playground – you get to decide how you play, what you play with and who you interact with. By communicating your boundaries, you honor yourself and those in your life learn the best ways to support and interact with you for the healthiest relationships possible.

JFCS provides expert behavioral healthcare services to support your mental wellness every step of the way.